When Cameron and I got married, we had people reaching out to us with all kinds of questions about attire – What should I wear? How fancy is it? What vibe are you going for? Is this okay? Is that okay?
Our answer every time - Just show up.
We didn’t care what people wore. In fact, we told several people that they could wear basketball shorts and a t-shirt for all we cared. We just wanted them there to celebrate with us, and we knew that that didn’t become any less special or important based on how they were dressed. Of course, no one wore basketball shorts to our wedding, but I share that story to also share this -
We make life so complicated, and we make a life walking with God even more complicated. We set parameters, make excuses, over-think, procrastinate, and put stipulations on how connected we are with Him, as if God is bound or controlled by our strings and expectations.
Sweet friends, God calls you to a relationship with Him. Plain and simple. He doesn’t care how you show up, He just cares that you do. It’s not going to be perfect every time, because you’re not perfect. Sometimes you’ll show up with boldness, joy and excitement. Others you’ll show up feeling unworthy, with shame, regret, hurt or frustration, worn out and exhausted with piles of laundry on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink and kids screaming in the background; with third-day-hair, or with bills piling up on your counter, or with stress from work beating you down. Can I tell you something? All of these things that we use to deem ourselves “unworthy” are the very reasons He wants us to show up.
You’re human, and you’re living in a fallen world with other humans, and sometimes, we’re just a mess. #amiright? But God doesn’t measure His love or desire for us by our abilities and achievements. He just wants us to show up so that He can meet us right where we are. And when we choose to show up, He takes our hand and walks with us through all of those “unworthy” moments.
There was a time when I dictated what my time with the Lord needed to look like, and the crazier life got, the less time and energy I had for it. I would think, “I only have ten minutes. That’s not long enough to really make my Bible Study worth it today. I’ll do it later. ” But my later always turned in to later and later because I wasn’t able to meet my expectations the way I felt they should be met. I was “too busy”, and it wasn’t long before I found myself struggling to stay afloat in the stress of life, growing weaker and drifting further and further from my Strength. I wasn’t in a good place; I was angry, upset, overwhelmed, and, if I’m honest, not thinking nice thoughts. I began to feel like I had let a good friend down, ashamed to let Him in and not feeling like I deserved the friendship at all. “There’s no way He will still love me the same if He sees me like this.”
Y’all… God sees you whether you open the door for Him or not. And every time, regardless of where you are in life, He’s standing there with a smile on His face, totally in love with the beauty that is you. The incredible thing about Him is that He sees even deeper than anyone else. And how many of you know that most of the time, what’s deeper is even messier than what is on the surface? And still, He loves us. Still, He desires a relationship with us.
I have found that my relationship with the Lord is stronger and more authentic when I use those moments I had deemed “not worth it”, or those moments when I felt “unworthy”, to show up and meet with Him anyways. It’s in those moments that God speaks to us, uses us and walks with us; it’s in those moments that He shows us glimpses of His power, grace and love. I wake up every morning and make the choice to just show up and be present, in any capacity - good or bad, happy or sad. Because the truth is that I will never be perfect enough or worthy enough in my own eyes to know Him. But thank goodness His love doesn’t depend on what I think of myself.
Just show up. Show up when you don’t want to, when you don’t feel like it, and when you have other things to do. When you feel unworthy, when you think it’s not worth it, and when you are undeserving. He will meet you there. He will always meet you there.